Photo courtesy of Savannah Class / Unsplash For the longest time, I have put on a face, tried to look okay, and found comfort in self-development articles. Well today, I just realize there is just some internal damage resting inside that erupts in the worst moments of life. Have you heard of this person who just finds peace in solitude, always staying locked at home, with a mirror as a best friend and comfort? That's a self-description. And just as a friend, there are days you don't get along with the image on the other side of the mirror. So, there I sit looking at the image on the other side of the mirror. Most times I see potential in the person but other times, it just shows how broken the person is. Your smile does crazy things with it but shows no sympathy when you are at the worst. However, I tend to believe I am my best comfort. Other than the mirror is a mind always racing with thoughts and fantasies. Filled with words and events in reality I cannot do. At some point, ...
Ways to cope with grief(Image by medicalnewstoday.com)
Grief is profound mental suffering or anguish over affliction or loss. It is an intense sadness or an unbearable regret. Unlike sadness, fear, anger which happen to us for a short while, grief is so intense and remains with us for a long period. It is an emotion, strong enough to make us lose ourselves.
It overwhelms us in a way we become distant from our reality, friends, etc. It also has this impact of making us feel useless and unworthy of living. Grief is not something you can term as a walk in the park to deal with.
Some symptoms of grief include anger, sadness, confusion, anger, worry, intrusive memories, weight gain or weight loss, exhaustion, insomnia, isolation, low motivation among others.
The process of grief includes denial, where you feel that the loss did not happen. There comes anger and frustration causing you to act indifferently to others, once you have come to terms with reality. What follows is bargaining, where you hold onto hope that things will be better and trying to understand the situation. Then comes depression where you despair and isolate at the finality of loss. The last state being acceptance as you begin to heal and an inner wall manifests.
In as much as we are speaking of ways to help us cope with grief, we should allow ourselves to experience it. It can not be looked over. It hits us strongly without knowing. Resistance to it will suppress our emotions within us without realizing that it accumulates and damages our brains and heart slowly when we least expect it.
The damage is more intense than embracing those emotions when they strike us. However, I have come up with ways to help us cope with grief. To deal with it is something difficult. Even time just helps grief to be more bearable. They include:
1. Self-care.
This is doing something you love most and feel is good for the soul. We all have those several or that one thing that we often opt to do when we feel overwhelmed, tired and just want some relaxation. That which the body asks for.
It could be listening to music, dancing, drawing or doing artistic work, having some chit chats with friends, cooking or even sleeping.
These activities will relieve you from being drowned or absorbed into your emotions. They add some comfort to your brain and emotions Try to avoid those strong emotional tortures. They just suppress.
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2. Seek help.
If you feel like you are losing it or burdened by the pain and feel like giving up, seek help. It could be speaking to a close and trustworthy friend or a psychologist. Let out all your emotions and feelings.
They have a way to make you feel relaxed. This just lessens the emotional torture but doesn't heal it. If your coping mechanism is crying, just do so.
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3. Avoid isolating yourself.
Go about your daily routine and talk to people. By doing so you will even find out that many others out there have gone through remorse and to a much greater extent.
This will greatly encourage you. Learn about the coping mechanisms they used. Associating with people makes you feel alive and that you are not alone.
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4. Allow you to feel the pain and emotions.
Avoid suppressing them in your abyss. This might make a complete mess within you as it slowly damages you. They however emerge years later, when you think you are okay. They just catch up with you. It may also go to an extent of causing mental illnesses such as depression. Allow yourself to grieve intentionally.
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5. Avoid putting time limits on your grief.
People are different and moan differently. There is no specific time limit for ceasing grief. Don't fight your emotions and acknowledge the uncertainty. With experience in n major loss, you will from time to time feel some sudden sadness and regret in memory of the loss. See (https://nickwignall.com/grief/)
The above steps cannot completely heal your agony. It just helps the process become bearable. Besides, healing is personal and it highly depends on an individual. We should all embrace the healing process and the various coping mechanisms to lead a healthy mental, physical and emotional health, to go through life.
Note that grieving is not an offense, it's just part of life and can happen to anyone. Let me know your views in the comment section and please share.
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